A short film introducing my intentions to write prose or poetry in the landscape with a performative element.
I am currently observing the way weather conditions can act as a catalyst for memories to emerge in a powerful way, often invoking a nostalgic response.
It’s a regular day and I’m in the regular field walking the dog.
As I reached this far corner of the field I turned and looked across at the sky and felt a feeling I often have. There was something about the weather, atmosphere, light and temperature that reminded me very strongly of going to secondary school on winter mornings. I took this photo today at 08.36 January 13th so I guess that would have been the time I’d have been getting off the bus to walk along one of the main roads in Weston super Mare towards my school. I can remember the low dark sky, oppressive but somehow comforting too.
The feeling I had this morning, was like butterflies in my stomach as if I was excited but looking backwards through time. It was an excitement of remembering that those weather and light conditions had given me the same feelings earlier in my life, like a connection to the past. When I had those feelings at a younger age, was I feeling the excitement via the weather and light, towards the future? Was I now walking in the field with my dog and somehow directly connected to myself as an 11 or 12 year old walking to school as if on the same day?
I wonder if anyone else experiences weather, light and atmospheric conditions stimulating memories and nostalgia? It’s similar to the way smell can instantly take us to a very specific memory.
I enjoy these experiences but it isn’t just about evoking memories for me. I’m interested in the catalyst being nature. Sometimes I find myself looking across hills and the experience of seeing far into the distance gives me a similar feeling of butterflies in the stomach and an excitement about something. I can’t really define what that something is and I don’t know if a word exists to describe this feeling.
I wonder and have always wondered, what is nature communicating? What I felt this morning and feel often when I am out in the landscape, was an energy that came both from within me and without me and the communion of the two. This morning I felt comforted and reassured but energised at the same time. Like something bigger than me was making itself known. It’s quite thrilling really.
At the beginning of 2025 I began compiling a proposal to Arts Council England for funding from their DYCP (develop your creative practice) scheme. It was submitted in May and I was delighted to be granted the award in July to start my project in September 2025. This project will continue until August 2026 and is based around several areas in the UK which have influenced my love and appreciation for the natural world. I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t fascinated by nature of all scales, from dramatic landscapes and skies to the way light illuminates a tiny seed head.
I have started my research in the town I was born and lived in for the first twenty years of my life - Weston super Mare and with a particular focus on the island of Steepholm in the Bristol Channel which is visible from almost everywhere in Weston. It’s shape is distinctive and in the lead up to my decision to apply for dycp funding, I kept seeing the shape of Steepholm in all sorts of unexpected places, like a sign giving me clues or reassurance I was doing the right thing.
I also wish to include Uffington White Horse Hill in my project as I had a pivotal experience whilst up there on a very clear sunny day. White Horse Hill is roughly a 40 minute drive from where I currently live so is easy to go to for an afternoon and is somewhere we (myself, my husband and our family) have become fond of. On this particular day around 18 months ago, I looked across towards the west and was convinced that way way off in the distance was a tiny shape on the horizon which resembled my Steepholm! I checked on my phone map to see if I was looking in the right direction and lo and behold, Steepholm’s position was directly in line with where I was looking. I was astonished but have tried looking on other occasions and have seen the same shape so, unlikely as it is, I remain fairly convinced it is indeed Steepholm I can see from White Horse Hill. This experience gave me a deep feeling of comfort and connection. I felt I was standing in a place where I could easily pivot between my childhood and my current life. It was as if I could reach both easily and see a clear path from childhood to adulthood - one continuous life. I’m not sure why this gives me so much comfort but I think the thread this project is following might reveal some interesting links and loops.
I am wondering what the landscape can tell us and I’m fascinated by the way it has been depicted by artists (of all genres) throughout history to describe metaphorically, aspects of the human condition. I’m also interested in the knowledge I have gained of the immediate landscape around me where we have lived for 18 years. I know the position the sun will rise and set at different times of the year, the changes in shadows cast in the house during each season and the character and tone of the light around equinox and solstice. I have a special interest in the knowledege gained and passed on by indigenous people in different countries and this was heightened after reading a book called ‘Wild’ by Jay Griffiths about 10 years ago. I want to delve into this aspect of our human connection with the natural world and lack thereof.
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Some of the work in the above photos features the dangers of Weston beach. This is something I think was always present in my experience and knowledge of the sea there. It is well known for having the second highest tidal range in the world and therefore the tide is often a long way from view and has given rise to the nickname Weston super Mud! I have memories of children being pulled from the mud and carried off the beach and the flares to attract the RNLI lifeboat were a regular sound. My relationship with the sea is mixed - it thrills me but I am not inclined to swim in it and most definitely avoid going anywhere near the soft sand and mud along the beaches. People ignore the signs and get into trouble especially during the summer - they think they can reach the sea. They can’t.